Voice Test: Canon mates and spoilers version

[finefuckery]

[ There is suddenly a knife at your throat, and a broad, firm body at your back. Whatever's back there reeks of sweat and blood and booze. The knife presses against the skin of your neck. Not hard enough to draw blood, not yet. ]


Hullo there. No screaming, if you please.

Comments

[finefuckery]

Hmm. Too bad. Suppose it'll be spilling your gut, then.

[eyediot]

Um. While I'm sure that would be rousing fun, I don't think that will work so you really shouldn't bother trying because it would be quite a waste of effort on your part.

[finefuckery]

[ runs him through with sord ]

[eyediot]

[Don't mind the screaming, that's normal. What's probably not normal is the fact he doesn't immediately keel over? He just sort of crumples in on the blade looking down at it then up at him incredulously.]

Hey.

[finefuckery]

[ looks down, making sure he didn't miss the important bits. ]

Tough little fucker, eh?

[eyediot]

I did warn you it would be a waste of your effort.

[finefuckery]

You did, man, you did. Are you a witch? Maybe a cat?

[eyediot]

No, just an unlucky bastard.

[finefuckery]

[…………………… tries to just pull sword out and stab him again ]

[eyediot]

[Soon as the sword is out, he seems relieved enough. BUT THEN IT'S COMING BACK OH GOD WHY-

Ducks out of the way, onto the ground.]

Come on!

[finefuckery]

You come on!

[eyediot]

No, you got a stab in, same as anyone else. You're done.

[finefuckery]

[ You can see him going through the mental math if “two plus two equals (why can’t I stab this guy again) divided by (I want to stab him) to the power of (what if he really is a witch (or a cat))”.

Finally he arrives at the conclusion: ]

Yeah. Alright.

[eyediot]

[He can absolutely see it and he hates it. But there is some relief as he just flops onto his back on the ground.]

Good.

...I'm Jonathan. By the by.

[finefuckery]

Good for you.

[eyediot]

No need to be rude, Ed.

[finefuckery]

[ Oh bad move, he springs back into action to grab at Jonathan's throat and pin him to a wall ]

That's Blackbeard to you, dog.

[eyediot]

[IT KEEPS HAPPENING SO MUCH.]

R-right. Of course. Blackbeard.

[Is it like.................................. your roleplay name or ]

[finefuckery]

[ He holds him there a long moment, and considers maybe taking off an ear? or a thumb? Just something to drive the point home. On the other hand, this poor fuck certainly looks like someone's taken bits of him before. Maybe it's not so necessary.

He lets the Archivist go. ]

You'll do well to remember that.

[eyediot]

[Mm yep gonna cough and hack for a second, rubs at his throat.]

Right.

[Phew.]

So.. The real Blackbeard.

[finefuckery]

In the flesh.