Edward Teach (
finefuckery) wrote2022-04-02 07:11 pm
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Voice Test: no spoilers
[ There is a man in your bedroom! Or your kitchen, or just somewhere that is yours really. He is dressed head to toe in highly functional black leather, and has an incredible greying mane. He smells like sweat and the sea, and inexplicably of... lavender?
And he's touching things. He's touching everything. Just casually picking up trinkets and turning them over in his hands. ]
Now this? This is neat. This is cool. What do you call this?
And he's touching things. He's touching everything. Just casually picking up trinkets and turning them over in his hands. ]
Now this? This is neat. This is cool. What do you call this?
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A gun.
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A gun!? A gun???
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... look, guy, I know I have a big hole in my wall, but I really need you to go have your trip somewhere not here.
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[ She squints at him. ]
It doesn't even have a rutting shower.
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Congrats.
[ She's grabbing him by the elbow and towing him towards the door, literally inhumanly strong. ]
Come on, out you go.
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Now that's nice. That's very fancy.
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[ cars exist and fly now, grandpa. ]
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Hey, wanna see a sort-of talking purple six-armed monkey with bug eyes?
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Yes, Yes I would.
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So... what's your name, anyway?
[ She sounds kind of resigned. Sometimes a nutcase klepto with a huge beard wanders into your house and you just have to adopt him and take him to see your monkey because it would be irresponsible to leave him to his own devices. ]
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Oh me? I'm Ed.
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[ She gives him an ironic little wave. ]
Mel.
What were you doing in my place, Ed?
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You wanna do this? Try it. Let's get it over with.
[ She's always good for a fight. ]
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