Voice Test: no spoilers

[finefuckery]

[ There is a man in your bedroom! Or your kitchen, or just somewhere that is yours really. He is dressed head to toe in highly functional black leather, and has an incredible greying mane. He smells like sweat and the sea, and inexplicably of... lavender?

And he's touching things. He's touching everything. Just casually picking up trinkets and turning them over in his hands. ]

Now this? This is neat. This is cool. What do you call this?

Comments

[whatsaslayer]

What.

[ She squints at him. ]

It doesn't even have a rutting shower.

[finefuckery]

Shower of what?

[whatsaslayer]

Uh, water?!

[finefuckery]

Why would you have that? It's not raining.

[whatsaslayer]

Okay I don't know if you're crazy or brain damaged or high or came here through a portal from another world or what but I absolutely do not have time to explain basic hygiene to you.

[finefuckery]

I know hygiene! I've even used soap.

[whatsaslayer]

. . .

Congrats.

[ She's grabbing him by the elbow and towing him towards the door, literally inhumanly strong. ]

Come on, out you go.

[finefuckery]

[ she is strong, but he's slippery. He twists in her grip and goes to ogle a hubcap ]

Now that's nice. That's very fancy.

[whatsaslayer]

It's antique.

[ cars exist and fly now, grandpa. ]

[finefuckery]

Yeeeah, I've an eye for these things.

[whatsaslayer]

[ she rubs her face ]

Hey, wanna see a sort-of talking purple six-armed monkey with bug eyes?

[finefuckery]

[ ............................................ ]

Yes, Yes I would.

[whatsaslayer]

Ok well. We hafta take a walk, then.

[finefuckery]

A walk it is! Lead on.

[whatsaslayer]

[ God, fine, she's leading him out onto the street. Through the door, not the big hole. They have to go down some steps, and then they're out onto the pavement of a futuristic shitty-ass slum. The buildings tower so tall around them that they literally block out the sky. Down here at ground level everything is dilapidated and flammable looking and awful. There is also a river. It matches the rest of the surroundings in horribleness. Fray strolls confidently past various sketchy-looking residents, occasionally waving hello or trading quick verbal barbs, but mostly she's heading out with purpose towards an alley that is more like a tunnel. ]

So... what's your name, anyway?

[ She sounds kind of resigned. Sometimes a nutcase klepto with a huge beard wanders into your house and you just have to adopt him and take him to see your monkey because it would be irresponsible to leave him to his own devices. ]

[finefuckery]

[ He is, unsurprisingly, marveling at everything. Maybe he is tripping? It's seeming more and more likely by the moment. But still, best to just go along with these things. He waves a little friendly hello to people they pass. He's having a delightful time! ]

Oh me? I'm Ed.

[whatsaslayer]

Hi.

[ She gives him an ironic little wave. ]

Mel.

What were you doing in my place, Ed?

[finefuckery]

Looking at yer stuff. Thinkin about robbing it.

[whatsaslayer]

Do not rob me, asshole, I'll stomp you into the river.

[finefuckery]

Oh, nah, I would have killed you before I robbed you. That's just sensible.

[whatsaslayer]

Jesu.

You wanna do this? Try it. Let's get it over with.

[ She's always good for a fight. ]

[finefuckery]

Nah, man. Let's just see the monkey.

[whatsaslayer]

You work for Ruebrin?

[ Once out of the alley, she leaps up to grab the bottom of a fire escape so she can head up to the roof of the building in front of them. Apparently the route to the monkey is going to involve a lot of parkour. ]

[finefuckery]

Nope! Work for me, mostly.

[ Surveys the roofs, he's in pretty good shape, but he's knee's not exactly what it used to be ]

Monkey lives up here?

[whatsaslayer]

Monkey lives a few blocks over and halfway to the Uppers. You coming?