Voice Test: no spoilers

[finefuckery]

[ There is a man in your bedroom! Or your kitchen, or just somewhere that is yours really. He is dressed head to toe in highly functional black leather, and has an incredible greying mane. He smells like sweat and the sea, and inexplicably of... lavender?

And he's touching things. He's touching everything. Just casually picking up trinkets and turning them over in his hands. ]

Now this? This is neat. This is cool. What do you call this?

Comments

[whatsaslayer]

Do not rob me, asshole, I'll stomp you into the river.

[finefuckery]

Oh, nah, I would have killed you before I robbed you. That's just sensible.

[whatsaslayer]

Jesu.

You wanna do this? Try it. Let's get it over with.

[ She's always good for a fight. ]

[finefuckery]

Nah, man. Let's just see the monkey.

[whatsaslayer]

You work for Ruebrin?

[ Once out of the alley, she leaps up to grab the bottom of a fire escape so she can head up to the roof of the building in front of them. Apparently the route to the monkey is going to involve a lot of parkour. ]

[finefuckery]

Nope! Work for me, mostly.

[ Surveys the roofs, he's in pretty good shape, but he's knee's not exactly what it used to be ]

Monkey lives up here?

[whatsaslayer]

Monkey lives a few blocks over and halfway to the Uppers. You coming?

[finefuckery]

Aaaaah well let's find out, yeah?

[ it PROBABLY won't kill him and also it's a calculated risk to go see a talking monkey ]

[whatsaslayer]

Where did you even come from? No freelance thief could make it in Haddyn who's scared to jump.

[ Normally she'd take a more straightforward and death-defying route, but she takes him the long and more climable way to her secret hideout. It's about as hard as clambering around ship rigging. He'll be fine. ]

[finefuckery]

[ Yes, scrambling up things he is just fine at ]

I'm not a thief, I'm a pirate. Much more murder.

[whatsaslayer]

Oh.

Well, I'm a thief and a Slayer, but I don't go around murdering my marks.

[finefuckery]

But you do slay them? Sounds awfully similar.

[whatsaslayer]

No, I don't slay them. Grab from marks. Slay lurks and enemies.

[finefuckery]

Whassa difference?

[whatsaslayer]

Between marks, lurks, and enemies?

[finefuckery]

Aye.

[whatsaslayer]

[ There's a huge exposed pipe linking this roof to the side of a much taller building about half a block away, and Mel hops onto it and starts walking along it backwards so she can face Ed, counting down from three on her fingers as she explains. ]

Marks: people I'm paid to grab from. Killing them is bad for business. Getting seen by them at all is bad for business. Showing up on their sec cams, also bad for business. Do not make direct contact with marks. Get in, get out.

Lurks: vampires, literally. Murder them and they go poof in a cloud of dust. Don't murder them and they eat people. Easy choice.

Enemies: please tell me you know this one. Rutters trying to kill me, or they came after my people. Doesn't matter if they're demons, humans, whatever. They come for me and mine, I kill their asses.

[finefuckery]

Well, some of that made sense.

[whatsaslayer]

Need claro on something?

[finefuckery]

Nah, let's move on. Where'd you get a talking monkey anyway?

[whatsaslayer]

It jumped out of a box and took my scythe.